Thoughts

I have spent the last few years running from myself. I constantly feel incomplete for whatever reason. I think it is because I start so many things and fail to finish anything. I spent my early 20s writing. I loved to write stories, poems, and basically anything that crept into my mind. Unfortunately, I began to believe I could "do" something with all of this which caused me to worry about what it sounded like and what would people think...that was the worst thing I could do. Instead of enjoying writing, I turned it into a source of stress and guilt - all because I couldn't just accept that I enjoyed writing and it gives me peace. So...I spent tonight reading over all the weird stories I have started from murder mysteries to very strange thoughts that I can't explain. I thought it would be nice to post the weird poetry of my youth!



The time of irrepressible desire consumes the essence of this presence.
Unlock the sorrow buried in your soul, once again allow passion and love to penetrate your being. Act as the liaison between good and greatness, accept your destiny, hold true to the mind, the heart, the body...remember the past, but do not continue to live in the darkness of what was. Be true. Once again allow the feeling, accept the challenge and love life.

Do not wish this life away, hold on to the present, live as though there will never again be another day. Rest when necessary, cry when appropriate, laugh always, dream..always a dreamer! I want to remember what happened in my life. I choose to believe it will tell me more about who I am.

My sweet love lingers in the everlasting peace of this life.
You are my angel sent by the sweetness watching my soul.
The prince of my kingdom, the missing link in my world.
With you, life proceeds with strength and dignity as we journey together, forever my love.

hope that the pain will end
see the light near
only you can set me free from the chains around me
see you there all alone
desire consumes consumption

The journey that I prepare to go on risks nothing, but needs everything. As I prepare myself to go back to my home, the uneasy feeling of dread overcomes me...He is the light at the end of the tunnel. The one who knows me..the only one I care to share my inner turmoil and thoughts with...

From my Solo Trip to Myrtle Beach sitting enjoying the ocean view...The only thing that exonerates my loneliness is hope..without hope there is nothing. My mind drifts into motion much like the waves of the ocean. The dam erupts as my every emotion displays itself on this page. Thought kept buried for months wanting to flow into words, but only time was to alleviate the pain consuming them to their solemn place. The sounds of the waves of the great ocean take me to a place that only I can visit, the place within my heart and soul that I dare to hide from the outside - a contentment of sorts needing relief from the pressures of my so-called life. As I sit here surrounded by God's beauty and nature's hypnotizing sounds is the first time I search for a peace that is so needed in my heart. Couples stroll along the bountiful beach in total consumption of each other, an innocent child embraced by his loving father..oh tranquility, tender love and affection. As I look to the light, I see the sun trying to make a comeback before it sleeps, the clouds part for the majestic light to penetrate the earth.

Without hope there is nothing, without love, there is no hope..only the small task of loving the one is too great for most mortal men. Love is free, it is pure.. you can be and do anything when you have the fortune of love.

Love speak to me, bring out what has been buried in you for so long, release your thoughts, your exterior wall is now crumbling as you long to find the passion in your soul of love and life beyond reality but peace in you - in your very being for to love yourself means capabilities.

Alone, all alone, I sit night after night, day after day
Sometimes I wonder why I am here...all alone, all alone
I feel people near, but I long to be...all alone, all alone
Why am I scared to be alone, when I all I really want is to be left alone...all alone, all alone
I am always alone..all alone
Life is meant to be lived alone...all alone
so wonder why I am the only one alone...all alone, all alone

The day he comes will be a blessed occasion full of joy and utter chaos
The end is near in the search for my one true love
to know him is to love
to love produces fear in my aching heart
only the love that watches over me in heaven
only she can make me see what is so real standing next to me
I want to wake up everyday in his arms
I want to love him all the days of my life.